Whiplash made me tense the whole time. So many f-words! So much sweat! And blood and tears. I even cried a little. It's one of those inspiring story where a student grows supposedly to be a great. He is young and ambitious, with raw talent. Fletcher guides him, no, pushes him, to be better.

But, where is the line between just enough and too much? Would that sort of push and drive be possible in my work? How much pain am I willing to endure to succeed? How can I improve in my own field, equivalent of being drenched in sweat and teeth grinding in pain as the blood oozes out, feeling exhausted but also almost euphoric because you are actually having fun despite it all?

I think I used to be like that. In orchestras when we were performing at a competition. During projects I was managing, trying to get all the works from different teams together by a due date. I am not sure if I am still like that now. What happened? What changed?

Perhaps I have lost that sense of what I want to achieve, and a due date by which I want to achieve those goals. Tonight I'm going to update my professional to-do list.